An Afterword: On Longing / Epílogo: Sobre Anhelo

"Yo te llevo dentro hasta la raiz"
*cue song (link to follow)

Longing, longing to be in a place close to your heart.  When you live something so deeply, love something so deeply, it will always be a part of you. to the core. to the root. hasta la raiz.

how does one go about honoring such a big part of their self?

Poco a poco, that's for sure.

HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL BRING IT TO COMPLETION

Is it really complete though?
I think not. No time or distance can change the love I hold for the people I hold close to my heart.
Its still hard to be at a distance but its comforting to know the love we mutually feel.
Home is for certain a feeling.
Its a feeling so gloriously filled with Gods love, it makes you a better human being, a better daughter, sister, cousin, friend, god-mother, teacher...

HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL BRING IT TO COMPLETION

As things that rattle my heart happen while I am miles away, I long to be present.
I long to be present to those I love.  I want to drop everything and run. I want to hug them.
Then I remember how important it is to be present with someone spiritually.
It isn't an easy task but it is a humbling one.
It means waiting.
It means trusting in the slow work of God.
S-L-O-W
however slow it may feel.
I am learning to again be present in every moment I am presented with.

HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL BRING IT TO COMPLETION

As I start the school year, I am throwing myself in the unknown, in something new, a new beginning.
I realized this week the beauty of my next 2 year comittment and how beautiful it is to give all I have to the little ones in front of me. The little ones who stare up at me as if I have all the wisdom in the world.  The little ones who are learning to do things as simple as wash their hands. I am entrusted to them as their guide.  I strive to lead them with grace.  Sometimes that grace just means dancing along to el baile de los animalitos and seeing smiles, consoling Miss Christie's heart. It's going on a blue scavenger hunt and putting on my  Ingles mandil now turned "scientist" Miss Christie mandil. It's the littlest of things that bring little ones so much joy.  I thank them for reminding me that I may want to do big things for those I love, but sometimes its the little things that can be equally as meaningful.

HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL BRING IT TO COMPLETION Philippians 1:6

Here's to trusting in the slow work of God, honoring every ounce of longing in me, falling in love again because all that I am is for all that You are.

"Yo te llevo dentro hasta la raiz"
*Corazon Serrano

Anhelo, anhelo estar en el lugar cercano a mi corazón.  Cuando vives algo profundamente, amas algo profundamente, siempre sera una parte de ti.  hasta la raíz.

Como honrar esa gran parte de tu ser?

Poco a poco, por seguro

EL QUE COMENZO TAN BUENA OBRA EN USTEDES LA IRA PERFECCIONANDO

Pero estará a perfección aun?
No lo creo. Ni tiempo ni distancia cambiara el amor que tengo por las personas que llevo en mi corazón.
Todavía me cuesta estar a distancia pero se siente bien saber que es un amor mutual.
El hogar es por cierto un sentimiento.
Es un sentimiento lleno del amor de Dios, que te hace una mejor persona, una mejor hija, hermana, prima, amiga, madrina, profesora. ..


EL QUE COMENZO TAN BUENA OBRA EN USTEDES LA IRA PERFECCIONANDO

Cuando cosas fuertes suceden cuando estoy lejos, anhelo estar presente. Anhelo estar presente a las personas que amo.  Quiero dejarlo todo y correr.  Quiero abrazarlos.
Luego recuerdo lo importante que es estar presente con una persona espiritualmente.
No es algo fácil pero algo humilde.
Significa esperar.
Significa confiar en la lenta obra de Dios.
L-E-N-T-A
por lento que se sienta
Estoy aprendiendo de nuevo como estar presente en cada momento que se presenta.

EL QUE COMENZO TAN BUENA OBRA EN USTEDES LA IRA PERFECCIONANDO

Al comenzar el año escolar me estoy lanzando a lo desconocido, a algo nuevo, a un nuevo comienzo.  Me di cuenta esta semana de la belleza de mis próximos dos anos y que bello es darlo todo a los pequeños que tengo en frente.  Los pequeños que me miran como si tuviera toda la sabiduría del mundo.  Los pequeños que estan aprendiendo a hacer cosas tan simples como lavarse las manos.
Me han confiado a ellos como su guía. Me esfuerzo a guiarlos con gracia.  A veces eso significa simplemente bailar "el baile de los animalitos" y ver sonrisas, consolando el corazón de Miss Christie. Es ir en una búsqueda por todo el salón por cosas del color azul y ponerme mi mandil de Ingles convertido ahora en el mandil científico de Miss Christie. Son las cosas mas pequeñas que traen tanta alegría a los pequeños.  Les doy las gracias por recordarme que aunque quisiera ser cosas grandes para los que amo,  a veces son las cosas pequeñas que pueden ser igualmente significativas.

EL QUE COMENZO TAN BUENA OBRA EN USTEDES LA IRA PERFECCIONANDO Filipenses 1:6

Asi que a confiar en la lenta obra de Dios, a honrar cada onza de anhelo en mi, a enamorarme de nuevo porque todo lo que soy es por todo lo que El es.

Están en mis oraciones queridos. 
siempre presente. 

hasta la raiz.

An Afterword: On Arriving

"I'm still very much arriving"

This is a phrase I find myself saying often.  As I reach the 6 month mark of being stateside I want to take the time to reflect on the flood of feelings, the unrest, the transition and of course the joys of the re-encuentros stateside.

On food: I met a Peruvian in Memphis recently and she simply said, "no hay nada como la comida peruana."  El orgullo peruano pues.  Although lomo saltado can be recreated stateside as the ingredients to prepare the dish can be found easily, ajis for aji de gallina are hard to come by. However, nothing will ever taste as good as when made with the fresh ingredients from Mercado Grau.  For now I'll cherish my frozen aji amarillos from a little Peruvian market in Miami FL, awaiting the perfect moment to share my all-time favorite Peruvian dish.
Side note, sweet potatoes will never be the same again. They just aren't sweet enough anymore stateside; aside from the infamous sweet potato casserole topped with marshmallows that I am so looking forward to eating at Thanksgiving.  Paltas (avocados) where are you? I dream of mangoes.

On cooking: I learned how to cook in a country with some serious culinary pride.  How did I ever get so lucky? I couldn't bare to part with my Peru cookbook composed by famous Gastón Acurio but more importantly than a book are the authentic recipes I learned from Senora Antoiñetta and my host mom. I'll never forget accidentally putting rocoto (a very spicy pepper distinguishable by its black seeds) in my scrambled eggs thinking it was a red pepper, hopping in the shower without thoroughly washing my hands first, only to hop right back out again after seeing red with burning eyes as I had attempted to wash my face.  I had no idea it was rocoto until John came home and opened the fridge looking for his beloved rocoto! Shoutout to John for pushing me to learn to cook on my own with the phrase, "con confianza Christie, con confianza."  Se cocina con confianza.
One of my favorite pastimes was definitely cooking alongside friends and family in Peru.  There is a real beauty and art to it and it has brought me to love the kitchen.

On technology: Upon arriving to the states, I had a cell-phone and lived once again in a home with wifi, two things I was intentionally without for two years.  Whatsapp and Facebook work wonders in keeping in touch with the world.

On living simply:  I came home to raid my closet and donate bags of clothes and as my little brother quickly noticed, I wore only clothes from Peru.  I now strive to keep my home clutter-free, separating wants from needs. As always, I am still working on this pillar.

On re-entering:
Transition sucks. We all know it to be true.  From transitioning to middle school, to high school, to college, to living away from home, to a new job, to any sort of change in life really, it is by no means easy.  Reflecting on my re-entrance into the US, I'll admit it has not been graceful and sometimes it really feels like learning to stand on my two feet again.
The following list is a list of things that occurred during the transition, some only fully understood by former JVs, in an attempt to adapt to "being" here.

• wanting to call loved ones, but afraid of simply bursting into tears
• doing said thing, and yes, tears.
• wanting nothing more and nothing less than eating travesuras and watching movies with my best friend.
• actually missing and desiring to be handwashing clothes with Maddie on the patio of Casa Fred Green, Bolivar in hand, blasting Beyonce
• strolling into a dollar tree to buy my favorite childhood candy..blasting nostalgic music in my big old school headphones
• struggling to just "be" but being assured the beauty behind that example
• experiencing unrest
• eating too much macaroni and cheese and frozen pizzas
• not being able to find the english words for something, stopping myself to apologize only to be assured by a lifelong friend, "no it's ok I understand"
• accepting invitations to speak of my time as a JV
• leaving said events feeling 'there is still so much to say'
• practicing self care
• feeling a flood of feelings
• traveling long distances to visit loved ones
• traveling via bus and being asked to watch a bag, freaking out for a second, contrabando!?
• attending parties waiting for la hora loca
• struggling with the latest technology
• riding my first uber in complete amazement
• distance is hard
• Salud!

and I'll say it again

"I'm still very much arriving"
sometimes that's all there is to say..
stay tuned for the next blog posts, "On longing" and "On being"

for those of you still with me, thank you, thank you for welcoming me back, thank you for praying for me all the while, for attending my talks, and for being fans of a human with a simple mission....
 to love.

*The first picture is a view of Tacna coming back from my last visit to Ticaco (a district of Tacna at an elevation of roughly 3500 m-11,482 ft)

Pisar Tierra

"Si vas a vivir a otras tierras, diles lo que pasa aqui en verdad"

Pisar tierra.
Como ser humano es necesario.
Es necesario no solo caminar si no pisar tierra. Es darse cuenta de la humanidad de cada persona y amar a cada persona tal como son. Es algo que te llena de humildez, de gratitud, de gracia, de fuerza. Fuerza para seguir pisando tierra. Aunque la tierra sea differente o nueva, la tierra es sagrada y cada paso adelante recordaras todo lo sagrado que has pisado, lo que has caminado, lo que has vivido y intentaras honrarlo, las personas que encontraste en tu camino, las personas que cambiaron tu vida, las personas que amas, las experiencias, las aventuras, la vida cotidiana, los duelos del corazón, todo lo aprendido Y daras gracias.
Empiezo hoy.

Con corazón