Una Soledad Acompañada

soledad: the act of being in solitude, or alone.
acompañada: being accompanied by someone else

 ¨Una Soledad Acompañada¨ This phrase was first introduced to me on our community's retreat at the end of March at Padre Fred's beach house during Padre Quique's homily.  It reminds me of many moments I have experienced these last few months with the start of the school year, work in full, and the beginning of the feelings of being at home here in this beautiful desert. It's the moments that bring me the raw beauty of God.

Reminding me I am alive.

And I am not alone.
In this. In anything. Ever.

“No escogimos con quien vivimos, nos encontramos en el camino”  -Padre Quique

“We didn't choose who we live with, we encountered each other on the journey”

     I like to think I encountered God on the journey this Lenten and Easter season and continue to do so every day.  Some days it’s hard to open my heart to the people who so generously open theirs to me. They know the reality of my stay but they don’t for a second hesitate to care for me, be my friend.. to love me. I see raw beauty in this forma de ser (way of being). I don't think I'll ever not be in awe over how much a heart lives and gives here.  I often find moments throughout my day where I am reminded of God's presence with little surprise blessings and catch myself smiling, call them God moments if you will.

 Whether its encountering one of my mes de mision kids on the side of the road getting ready to make his trek to school, yelling out the window of the bus after seeing one of my mes de mision kids slap the side of the bus and run after it trying to get on—only to finally get on after being stopped at a red light and then getting to catch up on life after mes de mision, or running into my host sister and host mom on their way to school the day I woke up a tad late and getting to walk in to school together, maybe even the time I was standing leaning against the door of the bus hoping the door didn´t fly open while in transit because the bus is literally bursting at the seams, or running into a third grader on the bus (who remembers me from when I taught the second grade ONE day in December with Kelly) and having him just give me a huge hug and keep his arm wrapped around me until we arrived at school, or the first day the kid at the center who tries to flip tables when he’s frustrated gives me a hug, its coming home from a silent retreat and having someone else there to listen after it all, it’s the time I happen upon a huge group of my Mes de Mision girls as I explore a new parish to buy things for the capilla in Habitat and instead of listening to their charla (a talk) they whisper “zumba miss?!” to me, its the moment I realize my little brother's words of advice “be strong” have a completely new sentido (feeling) now, it’s when my host sister Micaela sneaks chocolate toffees to me via my host aunt at the silent retreat, it’s the time I just laugh while my patience is completely shot as my kids run around like maniacs crawling under tables and on chairs during my taller de baile, it’s the moment a regular saturday turns into an arroz con leche cooking competition, or when I attempt to knock on a friend´s door and am chased down the street by angry dogs instead, or when I run into an injured Padre Francisco from Mes de Mision and share cultures and stories (a Mexican and a Cuban in Peru), it’s the time I ran to work with one of the boys at my after school job after lunch TOGETHER instead of taking the bus and it’s the moment a kid in my dance taller helps me lead the class as I totally make the moves up as we go and he belts out “Gozando en la Habana” with me, la cubana.

Familiar faces, they exist for me now.
They bring me comfort, they bring me peace, they remind me to open my heart, they remind me to let it be broken. And when we break, it reminds us that we´re ALIVE.

Alive, accompanied and not alone.

Buscando Otro Mar

¨Señor me has mirado los ojos, sonriendo has dicho mi nombre, 

en la arena he dejado mi barca, junto a ti buscare otro mar.´´

Lord When You Came to the Seashore.

These are the lyrics to one of the first songs we sang as a community with the pobladores of Titicaco at our first mass held at the Municipilidad with Padre Francisco just as the sun had come up around 5:30 am.  A song I remember as my mom's favorite church song and one whose chorus I looked forward to in the states so many times because it meant singing in Spanish.  I think all the times I sang it on the hill with my fellow badgers, I teared up because it reminded me of home.  This time though, it was different.  Completely in spanish this time, I let the words sing to me.  I remembered the song my dad played in the background of a slideshow he made for me before I left (He Knows My Name- Francesca Battistelli) and then I remembered a quote that resonated with me during my discernment of post-graduate service “You can't cross the ocean until you lose sight of the shore.”  Without a doubt, in this life I find myself dipping my feet into the unknown (i.e. going to the mountains with a group of 15 year olds, not knowing a single one of their names for some “thing” called Mes de Mision).  But, like when you finally jump into that pool of cold water and swim around a bit, your body grows accustomed.  I'm definitely still in that process poco a poco, day by day with every day being a new adventure.  When I feel like, my mom always says, “me ahogo en un vaso de agua,” I don't. I've only left my boat on the shore to look for another sea. 

            This Mes de Mision I found a little pueblo of another sea in the people of Titicaco.  In their smiles, their sometimes batman sounding “buenos dias,” in the “chanchito chanchito chanchito!” I heard on our street that one time (shoutout to Johnny!), in their tattered feet who have probably walked more miles on their camino to their chacras since they began walking than I will ever walk in my lifetime, in the piedras campanas at the top of a cerro, in the espinas (cactus spikes) ridden trek to visit the duendes and in the corazones agradecidos y generosos that I encountered.  In Señora Dami, I saw an insurmountable strength and unwavering compassion in her effortlessly prepared delicious platos at every almuerzo to her adorable laugh.  In Kevin (pictured above), I saw a 3 year old whose spirit surpassed his actual age by decades.  Following his mom and older brother around all day, he worked as they did.  When he fell asleep in my arms during our clausura for the kids who attended our categuesis afternoon classes, I couldn't let him go.  I was DJ and was supposed to lead the kids in more Zumba routines.  I loved watching the girls get creative and dance their way to the end of every zumba song.  For a little while, Kevin was a toddler, cradled in loving arms sleeping so soundly the music did not even phase him in the slightest.  For a moment he rested and I wanted to give him all the peace in my heart to last him for the rest of his hard labor filled, humble life.  I accompanied the group that walked him and his brother Bryan home one day and waited un ratito as Bryan gave us all leftover pancakes to share amongst ourselves with a gracias.  He didnt have to give us anything or even say anything but he did anyway.  Its this small act of compassion that I hope the participants of this Mes de Mision, Promocion San Pedro Claver, take with them. Its significance.  Its valor (value).

            The majority of our work the entire month of January, proposed by the alcalde of Ticaco, was cleaning the caminos/paths to the many chacras of Ticaco.  By the end of the month my group wondered what the point of cleaning it was if the little rocks were just going to roll down the mountain or hill and ensuciar (dirty) the camino all over again.  More than anything this month it was those questions, those responses, that pushed me to my limits.  It took a lot of patience to take a step back and realize “yes I know why we're doing this, but its not as obvious to them as it is to me, so helloo Christie...teach them.”  Ticaco is home to many ancianos/elderly who walk to their chacras daily (up mountains on extremely rocky paths).  One misstep could lead to far worse than what would happen if you or I tripped on these rocks.  The important lesson here was that TODAY no one would trip and most likely for the rest of the week....because of OUR efforts, OUR pallas (shovels), OUR rastrillos (rakes), OUR manos (hands), we did that.  

On the days when I stopped mandando (kindly commanding) completely, I stopped talking and just watched to see if maybe MAYBE my kids would work on their own.  Justo, it was these days where one of my kids on the walk back, asked me that incredibly discernment ridden question that is difficult to answer in just one sentence, “Why are you in Peru?--what brought you here?”  Sure there were difficult moments and moments where life brought trials that very much brought me to where I am today, but there were also many moments of pure happiness (that me and my friend Caro like to call God-incidences) that put me on this path whether it be my experiences as a teacher or the moments where my faith grew for the better. The question was one of those blessings in disguise just as making new friends and zumba-ing the days and nights away with them was too.

    As much as I supposedly yelled at my group to quit the flojera (laziness) and “TRABAJA!,”  we SHARED moments of joy and we LIVED through the moments of homesickness, sunburns, ice cold showers, skipping showers, car-sickness, cleaning caminos, shoveling a collapsed concrete wall in Tarata, teaching categuesis classes and eating lentejas.  Those moments changed us. They brought us to our lema/motto, “Con esfuerzo y voluntad todo se puede lograr.” 

“With strength and a willingness everything can be attained”

But what else made all this possible? 

“us”

“eachother”

WE did it.

Together.

Juntos para “amar y servir” (#MiguelPro)

We may be apart now but the journey doesn't end here, this experience is something we are going to talk about for the rest of our lives...

I was blessed to be a part of it, to give of myself to the people of Ticaco and to share with this Promocion just what it means to “amar y servir,” Gracias a Promo SPC, Grupo 3, all the acesores, Api, Profe Carlos and JVC, I wouldn't have wanted to begin my JVC journey any other way.

This post marks just almost 3 months here in Peru.

To all those reading out there, you're spectacular and thank you so much for your support.

Para todos leeando esto, tu eres spectacular y te agradezco muchisimo por tu apoyo.

Con Corazon <3

To Love and To Serve. Juntos.  Siguimos. buscando otro mar.

Striving for More

There's more to my life in Tacna as I know it than I can see right at this present moment. Nothing too philosophical to that statement, simply a reflection as I sit in my new home, the jv house where Emily and I have finally moved into a month after our arrival. It is hard to sum up my first month here because there are days where it feels like I've been here for months and there are days where I feel I have just arrived.

There's more to the bread man on a bicycle that strolls through my neighborhood with the biggest basket you have ever seen piled high with an assortment of breads. There's more to my familia Pilon of a host family that I lived with for three weeks.  There's more to the community of support that surrounds me.  I hope there's more to living in the upstairs room ( we like to call it the penthouse) where I am awakened to the sounds of Tacna and its people early in the mornings. There's more to the awesome team of people I will work with who so enthusiastically zumba-ed with me at the end of the year Christmas Compartir (get-together to share food & most often times dance). There's more to buying corn at the market (say choclo not maiz, “para pollo” means to feed the chickens, not to cook chicken..) Most importantly though, there has to be more to the horn I hear in the neighborhood that sounds like its straight out of Narnia! Quite a lovely surprise when I found out that the Narnia horn announces the arrival of none other than the ice cream man (who sells ice cream out of a bright yellow banana looking cooler/tri-cycle).

As I have dived head first into a new country, a new place to call home, it is no surprise that there have been things that I have had to become accustomed to.  For example, when we have menu here (lunch at the market, or any restaurant) the names of dishes will sound incredibly foreign and asking the casera (hostess) what's in it... well you really are better off just picking a dish and being surprised because 99% of the time it's very different than anything you've ever had and unless it's cuy (guinea pig) you will probably like it. (*disclaimer* some people actually enjoy guinea pig, my 5 yr old host sister loves it, I however am too accustomed to having a cuy as “ una mascota,” a pet... hmm)

Besides trying new foods and learning new spanish words like “chompa” meaning sweater, this Christmas I was blessed to be living with a new family who I shared the holiday with, my host family (3 aunts, 2 uncles, 1 grandpa, 2 little daughters, 1 cousin around my age with an 11 month old baby, 3 dogs, 1 cat, 4 kittens all under ONE roof).  The other volunteers have always told us of how great of an opportunity it is to have a host family and how wonderful the experience is.  After learning to be ok with being a guest, not feeling bad about being given things, and after some dancing with my new little sisters I think I finally got comfortable.

When it came time for me to move out and into the jv house, it was a flashback to move-in day at Spring Hill minus all the stuff.  7 people in a small taxi pulled into Habitat, my neighborhood.  With promises to visit and dance again and much gratitude for their hospitality, I took a picture with my host family outside our house and hugged them goodbye.

My little sister Mikaela started crying and hugged me tight and I knew,

I knew there was more to this. More to this whole host family thing.  SO much more to these two years where I will visit my host family and BE a part of their lives. It is so easy for them to call me their new sister and for every extended family to ask to speak to me on the phone and also wish ME a Merry Christmas. I learned so much from them in such a short time about culture and about life.  They were given to me just as I was given to them. But they also learned from me, the cuban-american from alabama who paints her eyebrows on, whose cooking skills amount to tres leches cake, and likes to dance. 

In fact, there's not much more in this life that you need than good people, the one's who take you in, care for you, feed you, love you, offering you THEIR best. Their best may not be your best but its given with all their heart.

Con Corazon baby.

***me and my host sister Mika pictured above :)

A Grateful Heart: Un Corazón Agradecido

The gratitude I had this thanksgiving certainly weighed heavy on my heart this time around.

 I am incredibly grateful for being able to spend this holiday with my family, for the gift of these last 4 months, for the journey that lies ahead, for all the beautiful people in my life (new friends & old friends alike), for those who donated to my Send Me to Serve, for the incredible support team that stands behind me, for closing one chapter of my life (always remembering the experiences Spring Hill College provided me-forming me and shaping me into who I am today), for every trip I took since, for visiting the people I love and just BEING with them, for one of my last tastes of America being a slice or maybe two of my all-time favorite pumpkin pie (thanks Ileana!) 

 As I savored one of my favorite bits of the holiday, I like to think I have savored every moment since my invitation to JVC back in April. It's been a wild ride, taking a leap of faith after I was accepted into grad school and remembering to follow my heart and that peculiar pull in the right direction and trusting it was where God wanted me to be no matter what it meant. It didn't steer me wrong. I said goodbye to the place where I grew so much, the hill, where part of my heart will always lie, on that avenue of the oaks (even though we didn't get to walk down it on graduation day as tradition has it) I got to stand beside two of my best friends as they married the loves of their lives, reveling in the beauty of those hot summer days and the beauty of unconditional love. I got to spend a whole month with my best friend/my cousin/my sister with graduation festivities, weddings, and visiting the happiest place on earth together (Disney) for the first time since the baby days!

Today I give thanks with a grateful heart for the time well spent and now for arriving in Tacna safely and jumping in to this whole new world that is this desert.
Black Friday was my departure day and I was packed a week in advance weighing my suitcase countless times. My last week in the states included blissfully attending a bonfire with my brothers and old friends, picking out the Christmas tree with my parents and helping mom decorate it as tradition has it.  After thanksgiving dinner, dessert was at our family friends house also as tradition has it.  Last year's black friday was commenced with a shopping extravaganza so of course this year needed its own mini black friday festivities.  After an hour of galavanting around Target (including hidiing in a bed of body pillows for a brief silly moment) I was ready to take my nap before my 6 am flight.  When time came, I found myself in a hug line saying goodbye to my parents, brothers and family friends (basically my second family of 4 other brothers and my little sis Nicole (who are SO amazing for coming to send me off at 4:30 am!).  Though I don't like to dwell on the intensity of the moment because there are really no words that do it justice, I know that as soon as I left security, this was it, the time was here, was real and a whole new world lied ahead.  This is my life now. A Jesuit Volunteer sent to serve the people of Tacna, Peru.

 I finally slept for two hours on the last leg of the trip, lima to tacna, and awoke in awe to the sands that lay below me, the sand dunes (Cerros) of the Atacama Desert that streches into Tacna, Peru and a pretty big chunk of the Peruvian coast if not all of it!  After Emily and I loaded up our luggage onto luggage carts, we simply turned the corner to find the exit of the airport and our new family of Jesuit Volunteers (Megan, John, Allie, Thomas, Kelly) running to open our Bienvenidos a Tacna Emily & Christie banner as soon as we walked their way. Fr. Fred Green was even at the airport to greet us! He is in his 90s and the most loved Jesuit priest of Tacna, who built the Jesuit schools Miguel Pro and Colegio Cristo Rey!  The Centro Cristo Rey's van, from this point on known as the “white pearl” caravaned us and our luggage to our new home in the neighborhood called Habitat with Pedro, a volunteer from Spain as our chauffeur. Since my arrival I have encountered so much here!

 It's mango season here (mango is my all time favorite fruit)!

The Spaniard volunteers are the Jesuit Volunteers' best friends.

Arguing with the Spaniards can be anything from whether putting a banana in the fridge speeds the ripening process up to just yelling at each other for the sake of being loud..

“Choquelo” is the equivalent of saying “high five”

Peruvian herga or slang is very prevalent and hard to understand but will supposedly be learned over time...

Public transportation and the mercado are “experiences”

I had a pretty amazing hamburger the other day topped with palta (avocado) sauce, chimichurri sauce, & papitas (fries) from a street vendor who has a history of being our friend and is a treat for us every now and then.

I am planning to write a blog post solely dedicated to the sounds of tacna (stay tuned)

stray dogs are EVERYWHERE

it doesn't rain here, it mists instead (I experienced my first mist the other day)

Ceviche was my first meal here and I absolutely loved it! I may have to frequent the corner restaurant more often..

There are more than 150 types of corn “choclos”

my favorite at the moment is “canchitas” (a certain type of corn that is popped like popcorn and served with Ceviche and as a snack)

Chicha morada is a juice made from purple corn, lime and sugar that is served with every meal even at El Pollon, the Peruvian version of a Pollo Tropical (fast food (cuban) in Miami ) except its equip with a bowl of french fries, a full chicken on a platter and a bowl of artfully displayed salad avocado included and chicha morada.

John's host brother Fernando is bound to make fun of my cuban spanish speaking accent countless more times.

TacBloc, otherwise known as the Tacna JV house, my new home, has the best brownie recipe of all time! Seriously they get better every batch and I will definitely be pocketing the recipe.

Jeff Thielman, a former Jesuit Volunteer, founded the Centro Cristo Rey del Nino y adolescente where I will work part-time (looking forward to reading his book “Volunteering with the Poor in Peru” soon)

January will consist of what's called Mes de Mision where high school sophomores participate in mission work in an impoverished area in the outskirts of Tacna, possibly referred to as “the woods” with little or no trees, running water is not a thing, nor will any form of communication be...

Vinani and Baranquillas are both outskirt districts of Tacna and proyectos of the Centro Cristo Rey that I may have the opportunity to work more closely with which I am very excited about!

So as this week comes to an end, I await another week of ICO, In country orientation, where I will accompany Kelly to work at Fe y Alegria in the mornings (the school I will work at) and possibly teach english class with her this week and I will accompany Joanna (an independent U.S. Volunteer from Chicago who is pretty awesome) at the Centro Cristo Rey where I will work in the afternoons! I will learn more about my roles at each placement site soon and will officially begin work there in mid-February. Until then, I will live my host family until Christmas time when I move into the JV house once Allie, Thomas, and Kelly leave us to head home to the states.  I will also be attending several despedidas where I imagine I will be fully immersed into food, dancing etc..

Peruvians are incredibly welcoming and are just the sweetest people. I have been welcomed with open arms and a kiss on the cheek by every person I have met (of which I hope to remember everyone's names sometime soon)  The same goes for the Peruvian children! Being greeted on the street with an “Hola Miss!” or “Hola Profe Christie!” just warms my heart even if the hugs and besitos make me arrive late to every destination. :)

So until next time my family and friends as the Peruvians say, much like the Italians (who interestingly enough had some influence here back in the day) . . .

Ciao!

Powerful beyond Measure

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  -Marianne Williamson 

(a quote shared with me by one of my best friends Caro, currently a 2nd year JV in Belize around this time last year, funny how much more it means to me now, a whole year later)

Reaching the t-minus 1 month mark before my departure came at me ¨slowly then all at once¨  (to quote the beautiful love story that is TFIOS )  However, I am forever grateful for the opportunity to encounter Boston and Cape Cod at that very milemarker with some of my favorite peoples embarking on the same adventure, some on different continents, the jesuit volunteer international journey none the less.  The JV Class of 2014.
The group that joked about having a late departure reunion-love fest in Kansas (what we saw as the only convenient place to host because it served as a midpoint for the west coasters, east coasters, midwesterners & southern gals)
Next thing you know, here we all are staring at the galaxy of stars above us on the Cape and realizing that most of us will have a whole new set of stars to look at in just a matter of a few short weeks (pretty cool huh?)
Time on the Cape was spent reflecting on this transition period, bonding over the experience, living in community, cooking, reading, resting, tea-drinking, playing card games, participating in a murder mystery game, visiting Boston, watching the World Series, making s´mores, walking the beach, exploring and just spending some good quality time together.  We even phoned some of our other late departure friends who couldn´t make it to the reunion.
What struck me most about the weekend though were two things:
1) how well we all lived together.
 It makes me more excited to live in my community come the end of the month as well as cook meals (between the 9 of us, we had some pretty delicious recipes & everything just ran so smoothly)
2) as cheesy as it sounds, how much we shine. as individuals and together. We really do bring out the best in each other, maybe even challenge each other in a good way of course.

You could say we´ve only known each other for two weeks
but it sure feels like a whole lot more.
the beginning of a beautiful friendship I´ll say...
and I´ve got a feeling that it´s powerful beyond measure.

When the Heart Waits

Hi friends, Happy Friday :)  

So JVC has been sending us resources all throughout this time before our departure since that first email of acceptance into the program.  It has become especially important in these waiting months since the Big O and since there hasn't been one for a while, I was pretty excited today when I received that familiar manila envelope.

Here is a quote I want to share with you all from Sue Monk Kidd's When the Heart Waits: Spritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions  that really hit home for me.

"When you're waiting, you're not doing nothing. You're doing the most important something there is.  You're allowing your soul to grow up. If you can't be still and wait, you can't become what God created you to be"  

**image taken at Wanderlust 108 this past weekend in Atlanta
http://wanderlust.com/yoga-festivals/ mindful time well spent with one of my best friends Lauren sporting flash tattoos and my new handprinted "Con Corazón" tank :)

Que Viva Cristo Rey

Que Viva!

So as part of this JVC journey, JVC requires each JV to set a goal and fundraise before their departure.  So with the advice of JVC to share our stories, that's exactly what I did. After fundraising at my local parishes' masses this past weekend with a 5 minute speech to the parishioners after communion, I gave my speech one last time at the Spanish mass.  Kudos to my dad for telling me to end it with "Que Viva Cristo Rey" As I stood up that one last time, still nervous even though it was the fifth time up on that podium, when I reached the end, I looked up from my paper and I said it, 

"y finalmente, que viva Cristo Rey"  "and finally, long live Christ the king"

The overwhelming "que viva" that was heard in that moment was the perfect way to end my weekend and my fundraising efforts. 

"mi corazon esta contento"

 "my heart is happy" 

Having people of all ages thank me for inspiring them is something I wouldn't trade for the world. 

I am incredibly grateful to all those who have donated to my SMTS fund making my new adventure possible.  But more than anything, thank you for reminding me why I am doing this.  Leaving behind the comforts of the US in just about two months, I will be making a sacrifice but its a mindful choice to live simply and for the people that I serve. There's something about understanding what sacrifice is that drives me and hearing the conviction in that "que viva" of the spanish congregation was quite the fuel to my passion.

So here's to living in the magic of the present moment as my recent readings of Thich Nhat Hanh have brought me to see and remembering that "A donde el corazon se Inclina, el pie camina" 

where the heart inclines you, your feet will take you.

THANK YOU

for sending me to serve.

P.S. Here's a picture of me and my Tacna buddy taken at the Big O, Emily and I will be in Tacna together living and working for the next two years as JVs. :)  
Her worksite/school is named Colegio Cristo Rey and I will work part-time at el Centro Cristo Rey del Niño Adolescente.