Powerful beyond Measure

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  -Marianne Williamson 

(a quote shared with me by one of my best friends Caro, currently a 2nd year JV in Belize around this time last year, funny how much more it means to me now, a whole year later)

Reaching the t-minus 1 month mark before my departure came at me ¨slowly then all at once¨  (to quote the beautiful love story that is TFIOS )  However, I am forever grateful for the opportunity to encounter Boston and Cape Cod at that very milemarker with some of my favorite peoples embarking on the same adventure, some on different continents, the jesuit volunteer international journey none the less.  The JV Class of 2014.
The group that joked about having a late departure reunion-love fest in Kansas (what we saw as the only convenient place to host because it served as a midpoint for the west coasters, east coasters, midwesterners & southern gals)
Next thing you know, here we all are staring at the galaxy of stars above us on the Cape and realizing that most of us will have a whole new set of stars to look at in just a matter of a few short weeks (pretty cool huh?)
Time on the Cape was spent reflecting on this transition period, bonding over the experience, living in community, cooking, reading, resting, tea-drinking, playing card games, participating in a murder mystery game, visiting Boston, watching the World Series, making s´mores, walking the beach, exploring and just spending some good quality time together.  We even phoned some of our other late departure friends who couldn´t make it to the reunion.
What struck me most about the weekend though were two things:
1) how well we all lived together.
 It makes me more excited to live in my community come the end of the month as well as cook meals (between the 9 of us, we had some pretty delicious recipes & everything just ran so smoothly)
2) as cheesy as it sounds, how much we shine. as individuals and together. We really do bring out the best in each other, maybe even challenge each other in a good way of course.

You could say we´ve only known each other for two weeks
but it sure feels like a whole lot more.
the beginning of a beautiful friendship I´ll say...
and I´ve got a feeling that it´s powerful beyond measure.

When the Heart Waits

Hi friends, Happy Friday :)  

So JVC has been sending us resources all throughout this time before our departure since that first email of acceptance into the program.  It has become especially important in these waiting months since the Big O and since there hasn't been one for a while, I was pretty excited today when I received that familiar manila envelope.

Here is a quote I want to share with you all from Sue Monk Kidd's When the Heart Waits: Spritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions  that really hit home for me.

"When you're waiting, you're not doing nothing. You're doing the most important something there is.  You're allowing your soul to grow up. If you can't be still and wait, you can't become what God created you to be"  

**image taken at Wanderlust 108 this past weekend in Atlanta
http://wanderlust.com/yoga-festivals/ mindful time well spent with one of my best friends Lauren sporting flash tattoos and my new handprinted "Con Corazón" tank :)

Que Viva Cristo Rey

Que Viva!

So as part of this JVC journey, JVC requires each JV to set a goal and fundraise before their departure.  So with the advice of JVC to share our stories, that's exactly what I did. After fundraising at my local parishes' masses this past weekend with a 5 minute speech to the parishioners after communion, I gave my speech one last time at the Spanish mass.  Kudos to my dad for telling me to end it with "Que Viva Cristo Rey" As I stood up that one last time, still nervous even though it was the fifth time up on that podium, when I reached the end, I looked up from my paper and I said it, 

"y finalmente, que viva Cristo Rey"  "and finally, long live Christ the king"

The overwhelming "que viva" that was heard in that moment was the perfect way to end my weekend and my fundraising efforts. 

"mi corazon esta contento"

 "my heart is happy" 

Having people of all ages thank me for inspiring them is something I wouldn't trade for the world. 

I am incredibly grateful to all those who have donated to my SMTS fund making my new adventure possible.  But more than anything, thank you for reminding me why I am doing this.  Leaving behind the comforts of the US in just about two months, I will be making a sacrifice but its a mindful choice to live simply and for the people that I serve. There's something about understanding what sacrifice is that drives me and hearing the conviction in that "que viva" of the spanish congregation was quite the fuel to my passion.

So here's to living in the magic of the present moment as my recent readings of Thich Nhat Hanh have brought me to see and remembering that "A donde el corazon se Inclina, el pie camina" 

where the heart inclines you, your feet will take you.

THANK YOU

for sending me to serve.

P.S. Here's a picture of me and my Tacna buddy taken at the Big O, Emily and I will be in Tacna together living and working for the next two years as JVs. :)  
Her worksite/school is named Colegio Cristo Rey and I will work part-time at el Centro Cristo Rey del Niño Adolescente.

The Big O

Be awkward, dorky and stupid...
     Those were among many of the words of advice the JVC and RDC Class of 2014 encountered during our Orientation (better known as the big O) this summer at the University of Scranton. This beautiful quaint town believe it or not, became like a new home for us volunteers as we cherished the ice cream of DeNaples Center, laughed, smanced and tornadoed on the floors of Gavigan Hall, and simply lived alongside our now new 'family.'

   But what did I really learn these past weeks? 

     Attending about 3 lectures a day, engaging in morning/evening prayer and daily mass, hosting and attending community nights, listening and learning and practicing silence are among the many things that we "did."  However as Scott's (a Rostro de Cristo volunteer serving in Ecuador for the next year) shirt once said, "aspire not to have more but to be more."  These words from Archbishop Oscar Romero have challenged me.  It's not about all the knowledge that I now HAVE thanks to these past two weeks of orientation.  It's about how am I going to BE for these next 4 months awaiting my departure. **The same stands for the amount of things I think I HAVE to pack when really it is (in simple living terms) about what is it that I need to just BE**

    Midway into our 2 weeks at Scranton, 40ish of us volunteers were met with a challenge.  The challenge to be silent for a total of 38 hours.  A challenge that not only did not allow us to speak to each other but did not allow us to make eye contact, smile or hug each other either.  Talk about going against every aspect of southern hospitality!  I related the feeling to that of the practice of being a bad listener that I had experienced earlier in the week.  As a fellow volunteer discussed a minor problem of his to me, I had to sit there and act uninterested to fit the mold of a bad listener (sorry Eddie!).  It was awkward, made me feel like a dork and it sure seemed silly.  But, it was natural to feel uncomfortable in this position of doing everything in your power to ignore the person right in front of you. So naturally, this silent retreat seemed even more daunting of a task.

      Boarding the school bus to the Chapman Lake retreat center may have been one of the scarier moments of my life.  Silly I know, but I had no idea where this bus was going and it sure seemed like nobody told the bus driver about the silent business because he looked rather confused. AAAWKWARD.  But what it comes down to is trust.  As a Jesuit Volunteer, I am entrusting myself to the organization of JVC and all its branches but most importantly to God.  God brought me here, God's going to walk me through it.  So let's fast forward to my "walk with God."

      It is amazing what a whole day with God can do to you.  I woke up the first morning of our silent retreat with a sense of adventure. When I needed to clear my head I decided to go for a run around the lake.  Our gracious host, Campus Minister Kathy, had explained to us in our silence that the path around the lake ran about 4 miles and was pretty hilly.  Those hills were no joke.  My run with God quickly turned into my walk with God.  Upon completing the "trail of death" as many of us volunteers liked to call it (once we could speak again), I was excited to sit in an ENO for the very first time (very comfortable hammocks of nylon like material). Ian had left a note at lunch explaining to everyone that we were allowed to use his hammock.  However, there were two hammocks hanging outside and Ian did not specify what color his was... So of course I totally sat in the wrong hammock and as I was swallowed whole by it (it was a double) I laughed at myself-silently of course. Still it was glorious.  As we all broke the silence together at the end of the retreat sharing our experiences, we were closer.  Despite being apart essentially for the past 38 hours, we experienced this silence together and were brought closer because of it.  

    I couldn't imagine experiencing these last two weeks without these amazing volunteers by my side. We truly lived.  The talent show hosted by Tanzania's community had me crying in laughter and some of us *cough cough* Ian, even rolling in laughter.  JVC Prom (Encounter) #community, brought out the best tornado and smance in us.  We were told that it's ok to suck at our job sometimes but to give ourselves to it.  Like the words of one of my favorite songs, I Lived shoutout to One Republic, "I hope that you fall in love and it hurts so bad, the only way you know is to give it all you have"  Here's to being the person who loves (#Susan) because "our humanity is 'indeed' greater than our expertise."

Thank you Scranton, I have everything I need, well. . . . almost.  :)