I once was someone who biked to work
as much as what I was feeling at the time attempted to tear me down
as much as my legs worked extra hard because I am pretty sure one tire was always flat
as much as I wanted to take the easy way out
the crowded bus that made me feel like a sardine was not easy
a car was not within the means
so BLESS that bike
I needed that challenge daily
and I needed that time
despite wanting to give up
I kept moving
movement has always permitted me to feel
to feel that which is speaking loudly
it is our internal compass
we all have it
but we don't always listen to it or even invite it to the table
but over time, you'll learn that the only one inflicting the damage is you
it's not the society
it's not the job
it's not the place
it's not the person
it's you
are you listening to you?
are you honoring what you need?
what you want?
what you long for?
Let me tell you, the soreness was real at the beginning
the fear of crossing the street existed
but there was a point on the journey in which
I could take one look to the mountains crossing over the bridge
to the left was my daily life and the costanera center and to the right was a long road leading to somewhere in the mountains above the valley, la cordillera
at that time
I was teaching . .
the teaching profession has hard days
it has days that tear you down
that humble you
that teach you
that carry you
that lift you
that exhaust you
that show you
that leave you
that stay with you
that care for you
that listen
that love you
that don't love you
yet through it all
may we always choose growth
may we always give ourselves permission to dream
may we always allow our dreams to flourish
I still feel all of those things
today I drive many miles down winding roads
visiting homes and babies
all the while looking for that pies en la tierra feeling, the grounding
looking to the mountains remembering the people who remind me of love
its been a couple of months since I chose to begin again
but I still live in the moments, I still live in love, I still remember
the body remembers
and I welcome the rememberings
they are a part of me now
I light a candle
I remind myself I've been here before
and that I am here now
y que queda mucho por sentir
me emociona los abrazos, me emociona los abrazos que estoy esperando y me emociona la idea que quedan muchos mas abrazos en esta vida
y en fin
abrazo la ilusion
de mis sueños
siempre habra mas.
quizas soy alguien que se ilusiona facilmente, al tiro, al toque . . .
pero no ilusionarme seria no amarme
y amarme
es abrazarme
may "we truly find rest in those we love, and may "we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us" - St. Bernard of Clairvaux
may we always look to the mountains.
